Magically Delicious

I do like them, Lucky Charms. Oh no, no, no, I never eat them. Only when camping. That's the special occasion to break out the much coveted Lucky Charms. I like the way the milk tastes, too, once you've scooped up the last bit of cereal; sweet, slightly pink colored homogenized, sterilized, falsely fortified cow mucus. (And by the way, I never eat cereal with a "normal" spoon; it's got to be a soup spoon, nice 'n big, or I get a little upset.)

Today has been an interesting day; I'm glad it's almost over. It is interesting to see how my children, home grown till now, are adjusting, adapting, and excelling at school. (Dare I say the words?) Public School. Oldest dd tells me, "We had a test today, and I wasn't quite sure of all the problems; some of them I didn't know. But them we did grammar and the teacher was saying, "What type of words are 'she, he' and, we." And I was like, duh, this is so easy; they're PRONOUNS!" I had to smile. That's my girl, in training to be another wordsmith.

Speaking of words...youngest dd, who happens to be 4, is rather forlorn that she is not old enough to go to school. So, she spent the majority of her day writing on the sticky side of sticky notes. Her letters are very nice and remind me of days when oldest dd was that age. Very proudly, youngest dd brings me the last of her writings. I glance at the page and tell her, "Wow! You're so smart! Look at how nicely you did so many different letters! You write like a five year old." That bolstered her bosom, and she skipped off to torture the cat. I then take a closer look at the top piece of paper and I can hardly contain myself. What has she written in very nice letters? "DAMN." Yes, these are some of the letters she's been learning, and here she arranged them, all on her own, very nicely to spell a word that no one in this house ever says (or knows how to spell for that matter!)

Oh, how I laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed. That was so refreshing! "DAMN."

Wa ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. "DAMN." Right there in colored pencil on a Barbie Princess sticky note.

"DAMN."

Her writing much reminded me of the time second oldest dd brought me something that she'd written from her Bible; oh how proud of herself she was. For being dyslexic, copy work is very tedious and exhausting, so she should have been very proud. She beamed at me as she showed me her letter. It read: "To pierce my loins." We were in church, barely staying awake through the sermon (we no longer go to that church!), and I could hardly contain myself. I passed the note along the row and pretty soon a whole lot of us were giggling like school girls. And dd kept saying, "What's so funny, Mom? What's so funny."

Now, I must share that this is the same daughter that, about a year before this incident, brought me a drawing she had made. There were three objects on the piece of paper in my hand. One looked like an apple with a brown spot on it, one was a child's rendition of a candy cane, and the last object was something odd shaped and brownish greenish. I said to dd#2, "Can you tell me about this wonderful picture you drew for me?" as I gently put an arm around her shoulder. She began, "This is a candy cane. This is an apple with a worm in it. And this is something in the toilet."

Something in the toilet.

Yes, that's my child.

Something in the toilet.

What, oh what, captures a child's mind? Obviously, something in the toilet.

I'm sure it wasn't magically delicious...

Well, let's hope that the new chapters of my life that are (forcefully) opening up to me are at least a knock-off version of the original Lucky Charms. I've never been lucky, and I haven't much charm (unless you like pissed off, uptight women). So let's hope, let's just dare to hope, that this new chapter of life has a "sweet, slightly pink colored homogenized, sterilized, falsely fortified cow mucus" type of ending.

If not, I can always get my four year old to spell it out in black and white for me: "DAMN."

May it be a good night.

Good night.