Screaming, Crying, Passing Out

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

You woulnd't be able to tell from looking at me directly, as I look completely calm, cool, and collected (of course), but I am infact (you wanna get me started, aye?), totally freaking out.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

You'll never hear me scream or yell (though I do raise my voice a tad), so I'm very glad that I have this little secret place to express myself.

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I'm not having a good day. Things are not in order; my LIFE is not in order, and it causes me great grief.

I cry when I'm frustrated. I'll also cry if you're crying, because I'll feel so badly for you, since you're crying, but to cry when I'm sad......I'm still working on that. Mostly, my tears are red-hot angry tears, borne from frustration that is too calm, cool, and collected to explode into a million tiny pieces, so it spills out my eyes; mostly silently.

Come, my little Dell, and cry with me.

Which brings us to the topic of passing out. I'm so exhausted. But I can't sleep, dagnabit! (And for some reason, as hard as I try, I just can't curse, either.) I tried to take a nap today, but failed. I don't like to fail at things, but I failed at napping. Frustrated with life, and especially with failing at such a simple task, I started to cry becuase I'm more frustrated now than I've ever been in my entire life, I think; so out come the tears. And, because I didn't nap, I'm ready now to pass out, as crying makes me ever so tired.

And it'll be just another night alone with you, my little Dell; the radiation from you being soaked into my body and energizing my depressed cells into cancer cells which will ravage my body in the cruelest of ways. That's it, I'm going to die, aren't I? From too many days and nights alone with my laptop. What's there to live for, I say? Oh cruel, cruel life!!!

What a depressing blog this is, anyway! Gracious!

"Take me home, country roads, to the palce where I belong...."